Last week I posted about grief and loss. I talked about what could help – rituals, workshops, talking, being creative, etc. Last year I was on holiday for the beginning of November and it really was such an unexpected gift
My Reflective Holiday
That holiday was by the sea. I felt like the universe had offered me this time by the sea to be with my grief and loss – to honour my own life’s journey.
Grief & Loss Take Many Forms
Quite often we can think that loss and the grief that follows is more acceptable when it’s in relation to the passing of a person. But there are many things that can leave a sense of loss in your life.
Loss Of Work Colleagues Can Cause Grief
The loss of a job where you really felt respected and part of a good team. This can cause a great void in your life, especially when it was redundancy that moved you out of this job. But even when the move to another job is your choice, it can still bring a great sense of loss. For me this just proves how committed you were to your work and your colleagues. They mattered to you and you to them, and it is good to honour this as a legitimate loss.
Grief and Loss And Your Family Pet
The loss of a family pet can leave a major hole in your heart. I have worked with many people who have felt very close to their family pet during stressful times, and indeed family losses. The pet is like a constant comfort and companion through it all. Then when the pet goes, it’s like the past losses come flooding back because the pet had been the one constant through all the stress and loss. This is why losing a very close and loyal pet can cause huge grief.
Life Changes Bring Loss
I have to honour the void I felt in my life when I left Religious Life. While it was the right move for me at that time in my life, I still felt a huge loss. My religious community had been my close family. It took many, many years to come to terms with this loss. For other it can be separation and divorce that bring grief and loss, even when it is the right thing to do.
The Loss of Friends
Through my life I have made some amazing and close friends. As you most probably know, some friends can be closer than family members. This was indeed the case for me on more than one occasion. Some friends move away, this can happen right through your life and again leave a huge hole in your heart.
I have lost really great friends through illness and some to sudden death. The pain of these losses was gut wrenching at times.
The Energy Changes But It Doesn’t End
Being an energist, I always feel the closeness of the energy vibration of those who have passed. This has certainly helped me cope with and alter my relationship with the deceased person or changed situation. I find that I have a period of what I call transitioning where I grieve the absence of the earthly body. Then, as time passes I move into that space of being able to feel the presence of those who have passed over and so I no longer have that sense of loss, even of the physical aspect.
This might sound strange. Let me explain. I believe that the reason a person passes over is because their energy vibration tunes to a frequency that is no longer able to be contained in the human body. So the soul energy moves into the Divinity realm and the earthly body expires because it cannot raise its frequency to match the soul’s energy.
Death Ends A Life – Not A Relationship
Morrie Schwarz the presenter of Tuesday with Morrie, said that ‘Death ends a life, not a relationship’. I think that is so true. As you gradually come to terms with the loss of the physical person that you knew and loved so well, you tend to begin to adjust your way of relating to the person. This could be through a song you both liked, a colour you both liked, a joke you shared, a special restaurant, a real close memory you lived through, or a place you used to holiday together. You still find a way of relating to the energy of the person who has just passed.
Robins Bring Me Close To Loved Ones
When my mother passed over, it was robins. I remember the first time I saw a robin after my mother passed. It was nearly a whole year later and it brought me great peace. It was like she was letting me know she was still close and minding us all.
This was also how I related to the soul of her father (my grandfather) when he passed. I was about 13 or 14 when my grandfather passed. I was very close to my grandfather and very upset. I had sat with him many of the nights before his passing. At that time I really struggled to adapt to his passing, until one day a family friend asked me if I still talked to him.
I said no, and she told me that just because he wasn’t here, didn’t mean I had to stop talking to him. It was like she gave me a way to reconnect with my grandfather and while initially I cried every time I tried to talk with him, I know I also reconnected to my grandfather in a special way from that moment on.
My Time Of Healing By The Sea
All of these memories and many more came to me so gently as I lay on the beach or walked and swam in the sea. When I lay on the beach, I was very conscious of allowing the energy of the waves to wash over my energy, healing the pain of all loss in my life that was still unresolved for me.
Calming, Nourishing, Sea Balm
It was like the sea was a calming and nourishing energy balm for my heart and soul. I felt so connected to a deep peace within my being that was also connecting out into the universe. I didn’t feel I needed to fix anything or change anything, yet I felt I was changed and healed in my depths.
I felt great gratitude for all those I had had the privilege to meet along my way, especially those who had transitioned to the Divine Soul Space. I also felt a huge compassion for myself through it all and this was probably the most powerful part of the whole week.
Even In Loss I Get On With Life
I’m the type of person who gets on with life. Yes, I have lost someone, yes their life has mattered to me and yes I am grieving, but I need to get on with living and life – nearly as a way of honouring the person, but perhaps more so to help me cope with the loss too.
Grief Needs Time
When I was on holiday I was able to acknowledge that I wasn’t always my own best friend in my times of grief and loss. I was able to forgive myself for not being their for myself, not being able to reach in and gently hold my own heavy heart.
Over the two weeks my holiday, I did exactly that and it was such a blessing. I didn’t have any major epiphanies. I didn’t solve the world’s problems, but I did rest with my grief. I did allow the sea to do its magic and gently retune any hurt or sadness.
Peace & Calm Energy
I came away feeling a great sense of peace and calm. I came away knowing I have many strong energy connections that continue to support me in my life. We are all energy beings interconnected with all other energy beings whether still in a physical body or an energy being that has transitioned. It’s just that it can take a little time to get used to the transitioning of our loved ones and the loss of their physical being in our lives.
Take Some Time
I hope you too can take some time to be with your experiences of grief and loss this month of November. I hope that you can allow yourself to just be the gentle and compassionate support that you need right now.
It takes time to come to terms with loss and to reconnect and relate to the energy of those who have passed over. Whatever time it takes, it takes. Don’t be cross with yourself for needing that time.
Find The Safe Space You Need
Find ways to allow yourself the space and the time to move through your grief and loss until you are ready to relate again with those who have passed. This post contains my words, the way that works for me in grief and loss. You will have your own words and your own ways. If you would like to come and be with 2/3 other people in a creative colour workshop click this link.
When Darkness Falls
When darkness falls on our lives, we tend to really see and appreciate the small lights that help us through. November can be a time that you give yourself to sit with and tend to any unresolved grief in your life. Last year offered me the gift of being, the gift of gentle and compassionate self-care. Most of all I have been able to reconnect with those who have moved on and even with myself in a different and much more authentic way.
Next week I will continue my posts on Grief and Loss. I hope you are finding my posts helpful. I would be very grateful if you could leave a review on Google by clicking this link.